Can Fairy Tales Teach Kids to Manage Big Feelings?
Janice LawrenceHow Fairy Tales Help Children Express Their Hopes and Fears
Emotional intelligence isn't just about being "nice." It's the ability to understand and express your feelings—and to recognize those feelings in others. Traditional fairy tales, like The Clever Girl Defeats the Dragon, offer kids powerful models for developing this essential life skill.
Without empathy, kids struggle socially. Children who can’t relate to others’ emotions may seem selfish or uncaring. They’re more likely to be left out of playgroups and classroom friendships.
Without emotional regulation, everyone suffers. Tantrums, shutdowns, and outbursts are signs that a child hasn’t yet learned to manage big emotions. This stresses caregivers, frustrates teachers, and embarrasses everyone in public.
Poor decision-making leads to preventable pain. Kids who don’t think through their choices might lash out, act impulsively, or follow dangerous ideas. Parents feel helpless, and trust breaks down.
Unexpressed emotions don’t disappear—they build up. Children who can’t talk about their feelings often turn them inward (anxiety) or outward (aggression). Adults are left guessing—and guessing wrong.
Social skills aren’t "extra." They’re essential. Children need stories that model how to apologize, make friends, and solve problems. Without this, kids may feel lonely, misunderstood, or labeled as "difficult."
How Emotional Intelligence Comes Alive in a Story
In The Clever Girl Defeats the Dragon, a brave and brainy girl sets off to rescue her father, and along the way, she encounters a series of emotional challenges that help young readers understand what it means to recognize and express feelings. When she accidentally sits on the tortoise, she immediately apologizes, showing children how empathy and humility can turn a conflict into a friendship.
Later, she encounters a shape-shifting dragon, but instead of panicking or attacking, she stays calm and curious. Her emotional regulation teaches children that keeping a level head—especially when frightened—can lead to smarter, safer outcomes. Rather than use violence, the clever girl defeats the dragon by using her wits, modeling thoughtful decision-making and the idea that problems can often be solved creatively rather than forcefully.
Finally, she frees her father and even helps a chained king, showing children how acts of kindness and loyalty are rooted in emotional connection and courage. Through these story moments, children see what emotional intelligence looks like in action—compassion, courage, calmness, and clever thinking all wrapped into one inspiring hero.
How Fairy Tales Developing Emotional Intelligence
Fairy tales like The Clever Girl Defeats the Dragon help children build emotional awareness by taking them on a journey through big feelings. Children feel the clever girl’s fear when her father disappears, her embarrassment when she sits on the tortoise, and her courage as she faces down a shape-shifting dragon.
These vivid moments do more than entertain—they create safe openings for children to name and explore their own emotions. When adults pause to ask questions or reflect alongside the child, the story becomes a shared emotional language. Through that connection, children begin to understand not just what they feel—but how to talk about it. Fairy tales like this one make emotional learning feel magical, not mechanical.
Here’s why…
Story is safer than real life. Fairy tales let children experience high-stakes emotions like fear, sadness, and bravery without real-world consequences. In this story, the clever girl faces the fear of losing her father, the challenge of navigating the unknown, and the danger of confronting a dragon. These imagined experiences allow kids to explore their own reactions to fear and uncertainty in a non-threatening setting. They can talk about what they would do, how they would feel, and begin to build emotional scripts they can draw on in real life.
Emotions need names. Children often act out because they can’t name what they’re feeling. Stories provide a bridge. In The Clever Girl Defeats the Dragon, the girl expresses determination, curiosity, sorrow, and joy. When caregivers pause to label these emotions—“She must have felt scared,” or “That was really brave”—they help children build the vocabulary they need to express their own internal states. Once kids can say “I’m mad,” or “I’m sad,” they’re far less likely to explode, melt down, or shut down.
Grown-ups grow too. These stories don’t just teach kids—they offer insight for adults, too. Caregivers get a peek into what might be going on under the surface of a child’s behavior. A child who struggles with transitions might identify with the clever girl’s long journey or her determination to find her father. A parent may suddenly realize, “Oh, my child isn’t being stubborn—they’re overwhelmed.” Fairy tales offer a shared emotional language, making it easier to connect, guide, and support children with empathy rather than just correction.
Try It Out
- Read The Clever Girl Defeats the Dragon aloud with your child or watch the Read-along video (Scroll down the page to find Watch the Video Button.) Pause to highlight emotional moments:
Ask: How do you think the clever girl felt when her father disappeared?Ask: How do you think she felt when the tortoise yelled at her?Ask: How do you think she felt when she faced the dragon?
- Talk about big emotions like fear, loss, and embarrassment.
Ask: “Have you ever felt scared like the clever girl?”Ask: “Why do you think she said sorry to the tortoise?”
- Relate the story to your child’s life:
Ask: “What do you think it felt like to see her father again?”Ask: “Have you ever missed someone like that?”
- Ask reflective questions:
Ask: “How do you think the clever girl stayed calm when the dragon turned into a spider?”Ask: “What would you have done in her place?”
- Share your own stories and feelings. Model emotional openness.
TIPS
Avoid yes/no questions. Use “how” and “why” to deepen connection.
Let the child lead. Don’t rush to explain or correct.
Keep it fun. Stories are an adventure, not a quiz.
STOP ‘N’ THINK
The clever girl didn’t need a sword to win—she needed empathy, brains, and the ability to connect. Isn’t that the kind of hero we all want our kids to become?
Want to help your child grow into an emotionally intelligent hero?
Start with The Clever Girl Defeats the Dragon — a beautifully illustrated tale that invites your child to dream big, think smart, and believe in the power of their own ideas.